How to Handle Difficult People?

A bully at your work is difficult for you to face. He is demanding you do part of his job without pay or credit. How do you handle it?

Your neighbors are constantly fighting. They wake you up in the middle of the night with their screams and curses. What do you say to them?

Your father is unhappy about your career choice. He constantly criticizes your work and points out what he thinks you should do. How do you deal with him?

Difficult situations are part of everyone’s life. Employers and employees can’t get along. Partners clash over money. Spouses cannot resolve disagreements.

If you ignore these situations, they always get worse. Employees get fired, partnerships and marriages break up, everyone is miserable.

Waiting and worrying, the most common "solution," also allows the problem to get worse while giving you stress and shortening your life span.

If you attack the person, at least you are trying to fix the problem. But attacks, rage or irrational anger gives you a bad name, makes people afraid of you and reduces honest communication.

Disconnecting from the problem or from the person is not always wise or practical. Losing employees, supporters and friends because you needlessly disassociate from them may reduce your stress, but you might also become lonely and poor.

The Best Solution Is to Confront and Handle People

"The ability to stand up to and confront and handle whatever comes the way of the organization depends utterly on the ability of the individuals of the organization to stand up to, confront and handle what comes the individual's way." — L. Ron Hubbard

When you face and resolve the problem yourself, you feel wonderful. You are in control of your life. You not only conquer the opposition, you conquer your fear. Few accomplishments are more satisfying than confronting someone who is difficult to face and handling the conflict.

How to Confront and Handle Someone

By getting organized and working out a plan of action, confronting and handling people becomes much easier. The key is your preparation.

"THE SUCCESS OF ANY EVENT IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO THE TIMELY PREPARATION." — L. Ron Hubbard

Follow these seven steps to prepare yourself for dealing with the difficult people in your life.

1. Make the decision to face up to the person directly and by yourself.

2. Write down the exact problem you need to handle and your goal for the confrontation.

Examples of problems to be confronted that you might write down:

"Joe is refusing to pay me despite our agreement."

"Chris is hurting office morale and causing me stress with her continual complaining."

"Bob is supposedly telling people that my work is inferior and I am dishonest."

Once you specifically name or identify the problem, write down a goal for the meeting. "By the end of the meeting, I want . . . ."

Examples of goals or objectives you might want as a result of a confrontation:

"Joe pays me in full."

"Chris stops complaining or leaves."

"Learn the truth about Bob’s comments and if true, get him to stop it."

In some cases, your objective may also state:

"Figure out if I want this person as a partner/employee/boss/friend."

3. Write down a Plan or List of Points You Need to Make to Support Your Goal: Facts, Reasons and explanations you may need the other person to understand. List the points in order of priority or importance.

For example, to get Joe to understand why he must pay you, you might make these points:

A. Joe requested the service.

B. Joe signed an agreement to pay for the service.

C. We provided the service as promised.

D. Joe was happy with the service.

E. Etc.

4. Write down objections, reactions or disagreements the other person may have. Include everything you are afraid might happen during the meeting. Putting specific concerns and fears in writing reduces their impact on you.

For each objection, reaction or disagreement you expect will happen, write a solution of how you will deal with each.

5. Organize your notes and gather supportive documents.

6. Arrange the meeting where you will not be disturbed, preferably in a space you control.

7. Start the meeting.

A. Look the person directly in the eye.

B. Explain the specific problem you want to resolve as you noted in Step 2.

C. Go over your first point on the list from Step 3.

D. Listen carefully to the other person and make certain they feel understood.

E. Hold a position on your points.

F. Use your solutions to their reactions as you worked out in Step 4.

G. Continue describing your points and listening to the person's side.

H. Do not give up. Communicate and persist for as long as it takes to reach your goal.

The more frequently you confront and handle difficult people, the easier it becomes. The amount of time it takes to prepare for a confrontation decreases. You become strong and tough.

When you confront and handle everyone around you, people respect you for your courage, your honesty and your control. Your associates, employees or coworkers follow your example and become more productive. Your enemies either become harmless or become friends.

Taking positive organized action, despite fear, is the kind of courage all successful people must have to succeed.

Ghajini Review

An Aamir Khan film is nothing short of an event. The supremely talented actor acts in one film a year and no two films are ever identical in terms of plotline. No wonder then that you await an Aamir starrer with bated breath.

Ghajini, the Tamil version, has been a massive hit and so was its dubbed Telugu version. Will the Hindi adaptation live up to the humungous expectations? The hype is unmatched and you expect no less than a present-day masterpiece.

Now the good news: Ghajini demonstrates how strong film-making can enhance and elevate an already solid concept.

Ghajini is a revenge saga, one ingredient that has been the staple diet of Hindi films since time immemorial. It is a powerful film. It has the power to sweep you off your feet from the word 'go'. It has a riveting story, which has been told with flourish by director A.R. Murugadoss. And, of course, it has a knockout performance by Aamir Khan. If at all there's a shred of doubt whether Aamir is The Best in the business, all you've got to do is check out Ghajini.

Flaws any? Running time [almost 3 hours]? Not at all! There's so much happening in every scene and the screenplay is so gripping that you don't feel the need to look at the auditorium ceiling or at your watch at brief intervals. You aren't restless. As moviegoers, we've watched countless good versus evil fares over the years and although Ghajini belongs to the same family, not once does it take the beaten track. The story has been told differently and most importantly, the story offers so many twists-n-turns that you just can't guess what would unfold next.

Is it violent? It is, at times, but the violence here is justified. In fact, every time the protagonist bashes up the evil-doers, you clap and root for him. The climax is jaw-dropping -- dissimilar from the original, but it's an out of the world experience nonetheless.

To sum up, Ghajini is commercial Hindi cinema at its best. The film has 'Hit' written all over it. Let me put it this way: Cancel whatever you're doing today and go watch Ghajini instead.

Aamir Khan is suffering from acute short-term memory loss set off by the violent murder of his girlfriend Asin. He's got to work around this handicap, but with methodical and meticulous determination. Aamir etches a path of clues that lead him on his road.

To aid him in his quest, he carries around a sheaf of Polaroids and when he is really sure of a piece of information, he has it tattooed on his body, which stands in for the damaged part of his mind. His indelibly marked torso is the repository of his grief, his rage and his reason to go on living.

Any more revelation would do gross injustice to the film and to its viewer.

First things first! Ghajini is not MEMENTO. There're minor similarities, but Ghajini takes a completely different route to tell its story. Director A.R. Murugadoss tells this one differently. It starts off with what happens in the past, comes to the present-day, goes back in time again and returns to the contemporary again. This is a breathless, exciting story, heart-breaking and exhilarating at the same time.

Hindi movies have often depicted people suffering from amnesia/memory loss, but Ghajini is poles apart because the protagonist recalls events only for 15 minutes. The story is its USP, without a doubt. But what adds sheen and glory to the story is Aamir's portrayal of a man suffering from short-term memory loss. Aamir hardly speaks. In fact, the leading lady [Asin] speaks more than Aamir in the film. But Aamir speaks volumes with his eyes, he conveys whatever has to be conveyed through his body language, he says it all with his facial expressions and that only makes Ghajini a memorable, never-seen-before experience.

Director A.R. Murugadoss deserves brownie points for not just coming up with an interesting story, but also presenting it [refreshingly] differently. The storyteller balances the light moments and the ones demanding intensity with expertise. There's dum in every sequence. Even if the director has to depict violence, he doesn't resort to blood-n-gore or knives-swords-pistols for effect.

A.R. Rahman's music is top notch. At least three numbers have the unmistakable stamp of a genius -- 'Guzarish', 'Behka' and 'Kaise Mujhe'. Ravi Chandran's cinematography is stunning. The film bears a stylish look all through. The action sequences are brilliantly executed. The Hindi moviegoers haven't seen such scenes ever.

Aamir delivers his career-best performance. In the first place, it requires courage and maturity to name the film after the villain. Knowing how egoistic our stars are, something like this is next to impossible in Hindi films.

A lot has been said and written about the Ghajini look -- Aamir's hairstyle and his dream physique. It's awe-inspiring and if more and more people adopt the 'Aamir look' or hit the gym, it would be courtesy the actor.

As far as his acting is concerned, he's natural as the tycoon, but like a wounded, ferocious tiger when he goes on an avenging spree. Without doubt, it's a concentrated, layered performance. He acts with his entire being. His body movement, the details of his performance, everything rings true. He is both vulnerable and hard. The pain in his face when he can't remember, is palpable. It's not only the plot that carries Ghajini. It's also the mood and the expression on Aamir's face that makes Ghajini a treat.

Asin is fabulous. To share the screen space with an actor of the stature of Aamir Khan and yet remain in your memory even after the show has ended is no cakewalk. She looks fresh and photogenic and acts her part brilliantly. Pradeep Rawat, the villain, is first-rate. Jiah Khan impresses, especially in the sequence when Aamir follows her to a shopping mall.

On the whole, Ghajini is a winner all the way. The film will set new records and has the merits to emerge one of the biggest Hits of all times. The weekend business should be historic, the Week 1 business should be unparalleled, the lifetime gross should be amongst the biggest of all times. In short, Ghajini has 'Blockbuster' written all over it.

Master the art of cold calling...

Let's say you're at home or at work and your cellphone rings. Someone at the other end says, "Hello, my name is Amol. I work for XYZ cellular company. We have launched a new scheme on post-paid connections. What connection are you using right now?"

What thought will cross your mind? Probably something like: "Uh-oh, another pesky salesperson. I'm about to be sold something again. How fast can I get off the phone?" In other words, it's basically over at 'Hello' and you end up rejecting the person at the other end.

Welcome to the world of cold calling. If you've ever felt a sense of awkwardness while picking up the phone and calling someone you don't know, you'll understand just how challenging making a cold call can be. Whether you are calling to confirm an appointment, asking for an interview slot or trying to sell something, mastering the art of such telephonic conversations will definitely make life easier for you.

What is a cold call?

If you are thinking 'What in the world is a cold call', calling absolute strangers to talk about your business and persuading them to act would be it. While the image of a telecaller selling credit cards, mobile plans etc is what comes to the mind, immediately, the knowledge of how to handle a cold call comes in handy in all walks of life.

Why is it challenging?

"Cold calling terrifies me -- the phone feels like a dumbbell every time I have to make one," says, a call centre executive from Delhi. The person you are calling may react with hostility or choose to hang up. You face a firestorm of rejection for every spark of interest you ignite. It's important to remember that we live in an age of information overload. The amount of information that an average 17th century person would have accumulated in his/ her entire life is what is served to you in your daily newspaper. Time is at a premium and people are stressed out. Given all this, nobody wants to attend to that unexpected call on a busy day.

Free yourself of cold calling jitters

You can turn cold calling into a fruitful and positive experience by changing your mindset and making your calls sizzle. With a little planning and preparation you can influence the decisions of people or persuade them to buy what you are selling. Here are some tips at the heart of effective cold calling:

• Dump the fear: Feelings of rejection and fear come when we get wrapped up in our expectations and hope for an outcome when it's too premature to even be thinking about one. Rather than obsess about the rejection you might experience calling a stranger, think about the potential business you could gain by making the call, ie the possibility of selling a product, gaining an appointment for an interview etc. Once you understand this, you can turn the adrenaline fear produces into a positive motivator.
  
• Do your homework: Get your facts in place. Who are you calling? What will be the best time to call them? What's the purpose of this call? Why should they listen to you? You have exactly one opportunity to make a great first impression and you will not make it if you are not prepared. "I get at least five calls a day and sometimes it so happens that there is more than one call from the same company, with a new person at the other end each time, trying to sell the same thing. As a consumer, I think it's extremely irritating and they need to update their records when the offer is refused once," says Priyanka, a chartered accountant working with a Delhi-based bank.
  
• Be enthusiastic: You need to be full of positive energy about what you are doing/ asking for or selling otherwise your voice will sound dull, with no power to persuade or move the listener into action. Remember, enthusiasm is infectious. Think of it as calling a friend. Let your voice be natural, calm, relaxed and easy-going.
  
• Think it, ink it and sink it: Always call with a pen and paper handy. You may be provided with some vital clues that may be worth remembering. Writing it all down will help you frame better answer sand stay in control of the situation.
  
• Be specific and focused: Give the listener information that is relevant and be as specific as possible. Tell them how your service/ offering relates to their specific situation. "I have received countless phone calls from sales people hawking their companies and trying to sell me postpaid connections and credit cards. As a house-wife, I do not need any of these," says housewife Bharti Kukreja. Don't be vague. Tell them what they want to know.
  
• Have a checklist ready: Create a checklist of the key information you will require, ie pricing, testimonials, samples, and a list of questions; review this list before you make your call. "I remember calling a prospect expecting to receive his voice mail. That meant I was completely unprepared when he answered the call himself. Instead of asking him a series of qualifying questions, I simply responded to his questions, allowing him to control the sale. Unfortunately, I didn't progress any further than that initial call," says Ravi Srinivasan, sales manager with an IT company. Make sure you don't sound scripted, as that puts you into the typical 'salesperson' category that you want to avoid.
  
• Focus on key areas: Here's a quick example. You could start off with, "Hi, my name is Amit...Can you help me out? I just need a minute of your time." How would you normally respond if someone said that to you?
  
  Probably with "Sure, what is it?" or "What do you need?" -- that's how most people would respond to a question like that. It's very natural and instinctive. When your prospect replies, you don't respond with a sales pitch about what you have to offer. Instead, you go right into talking about the key focus area.
  
• Follow up: Make sure you follow up and call whenever you promised you would. If you are calling for a job and are asked to mail your resume first, make sure that you mail it and follow up with another call. "If I am genuinely interested in buying something but can't spare the time listening to someone's sales pitch, I usually ask them to call later. But so far nobody has ever called at the time I gave them," says Ravindra Prasad, a development manager with a Bangalore-based MNC.

Cold calling is not about counting the number of people you reach; rather, it's about reaching the people who count. That's the missing link in the entire process. So go out there and sizzle!